“Our sensitivity is like a radar system that sends and receives thoughts and feelings. That sensitivity can work for or against us, depending on how relaxed and discerning we are. Ever walk into a room and suddenly get a headache? It is important that I always know ‘what is me’ and ‘what is not me.’ Otherwise, I end up minding somebody else’s business!”
First impressions can be a hunch, a dream, a vision, an idea, a feeling. I had them all the time as a child. Being a very sensitive, intuitive soul was very challenging. I was physically ill a lot, in part because I was stressed out by my relationships in my family.
I tried to detach from my intuitive self as I moved into my teens when the world became too overwhelming. I never forgot the psychic experiences I had as a kid. It took some life and death experiences to start paying attention again. I began a search to find answers.
I found a copy of my astrology chart and report that my Aunt Jean had ordered from her NYC astrologer. That report gave me my first understanding that I was unique, an “old soul” with very strong “psychic” abilities. That I had a strong tendency to experience illness when upset. That I was meant to help others as I helped myself. Those messages gave me hope and urged to continue my search through the ups and downs of my twenties.
I didn’t understand how to deal with all the thoughts, feelings and impressions I continued to tune into every day. I would walk on one side of the street if I saw a person walking towards me with a dark cloud over their head. When I suddenly felt nervous and unsure, and started to break out into hives, I thought I was not normal. As I explored further, I realized that I was sensing the energies around me. If what I was feeling wasn’t mine to begin with, perhaps I could learn to heal myself. I wanted to develop those intuitive gifts as an adult, and return to the deep, fulfilling connection with my intuitive soul self that I had as a child.
One evening, while living in NYC and working several jobs, I had a strong urge to turn on the radio show at 12 midnight. Instead of music, I tuned into a Late Night Talk show with host Casper Citron (not making up that name). The only thing I heard was “And everyone is psychic.” – part of an interview with a team representing the Inner Peace Movement. I listened and found out they were giving a lecture the next evening on “Being Psychic Is Natural.” The site was only a few blocks away from my apartment. I rearranged my schedule and priorities and attended. That led to a Thursday night lecture, a Friday night workshop, a personal consultation, a weekend retreat, and my first 12 weeks in community group sessions…all available in my Manhattan neighborhood.
Old excuses didn’t have a chance. My feeling connection to the energy of the program and the presenters was so positive and strong that I didn’t want to resist. I wanted to find solutions to ACT on the direction available to me. I began to notice how many chills I was having and the strong inner core of guidance that I was feeling. Plus I had some new tools to stay more connected to that guidance.
At times, I have wanted to give up. I have lost trust in myself. My sensitivity has often felt overwhelming. I have had recurring bouts of illness and challenging life experiences. But I have profound help in releasing the past, and reinventing myself with inner peace, purpose and the passion to be of service and help others on my path.